Purple thunder lightening

In today’s hustle and bustle, striving to be successful, and an  eyes on the prize type mentality, stress is bound to be lurking very close.  For most, it has seeped into our life without us noticing at first, and for some it will do its best to consume any and all hope of good.

We are so busy trying to better ourselves, that we rarely take the time to fathom something like “stress” could find its way into our already full playcard.  It starts very subtle, but grows into a monstrosity that can destroy everything we have built in the blink of an eye. There are lots published articles, books, warnings, and remedies about stress and its causes.  It is a silent killer of many.  It is a formidable opponent and will prevail if one doesn’t learn how to effectively spot the signs that it has become present in your life or to take steps to relieve such stress.

I recieved an email some months back, and after going through my bout with depression, I decided that I needed to take a closer look into the tagline “Just say f^%# it”.  The email was an advertisement of some sort, but it defined a very simple but powerful explanation.  One that at the time, I was not ready to hear or completely understand.

The jist of the message was, when we feel frustrated or stressed over something, and try as we might, we just can’t get past the hurdle, then saying “f^#% it” to the subject or situation immediately reduces stress and allows our brain to begin finding a way to resolve the issue without our emotions getting in the way.  It doesn’t mean we give up, but it fools our emotions into believing we have, allowing us to re-focus and recenter, thus allowing us to get past the hurdle and find the path to resolving the problem.

A simple concept, yet it has merit, or it seems to now that I have found myself so overwhelmed with stress and unable to find a way back to the top or on the right path.  While I can’t for the life of me, find the email, or remember the originator, I will never forget the words or their meaning.  Nor will I ever be able to know what my life would have been like had I taken the email and its contents more seriously and just got myself some help.

Would I have ended up losing 4 months of precious time with my daughters?  Would I have made it to court to get them back?  I will never know the answers to these questions and many others like it that run though my head.

I do know now, that living a life so filled with stress and heartache is no life to live at all.  Depression kills.  Plain and simple.  It kills dreams, hopes, relationships, families, careers, and so many more things we see as important or precious.  I was begging someone to notice the pain I was in, but didn’t realize that I had hurt and pushed the ones I was wanting to notice so far away til they could not tell what was depression and what was anger.

I let the stress of losing my husband, children, career, and everything else turn to depression.  I told myself regularly I deserved to be sad, to be alone.  Hard as I tried to climb my way back to the surface, I kept finding I would lose my breath and sink right back into the abyss, farther and farther each and every time.

Now, I take one day at a time.  I struggle somedays with trying to not over do or over anticipate.  I try to focus on one task at a time, and still fail miserably at completing one task before starting another, but I regularly use the Just f^*$Q it motto.  Of course I want things to go faster or open up for me on a larger scale, but I just pray to Jesus that he stay by my side and show me the path to take.    So far, so good.  I have managed to write a couple of pieces, get a couple of blog posts published, and research into what services I want to provide as a freelance writer.    Not bad for only being plugged back into the world wide web for a couple of weeks.

I will say that I wish someone had taken more a hands on approach with getting me out of the slump.  Maybe if someone had noticed where I was mentally, they would have gotten me help before It got me into trouble?  Answers I will never get, but that doesn’t have to be the fate for someone else.  I urge you to ask questions, pry, not take no for an answer, to see through the “I’m fine” responses.  Take the time for someone you love that seems like they might be struggling or falling farther and farther into the abyss of depression.  They may be ticked at you at first, but you may just be the hero of their story.

 

3MKZ "Soul"utions

Divorced, 40 yr old mother of 2 beautiful girls ages 3 and 6, that is in the midst of the worst experience in my life looking for ways to repair my girl's souls, protect their future, and provide a better world for that future.

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